entry(26): asshole

         Perhaps it is because of the novel that I was just done reading, of how as a wanna be writer I am again nudged by my thoughts to create a piece. And how could I? How do I start writing if I already feel jealousy flowing through my stream of consciousness? Thus the eternal writer’s block and yes, curse you Milan Kundera, curse you along with all other geniuses. You did me good. So to avoid making a complete asshole (I say that Milan and I hope you see the connection *insert evil laugh here*) of myself, let me be just a commentator then.

          In the novel Slowness, Kundera wrote that, “There is a secret bond between slowness and memory, between speed and forgetting…the degree of slowness is directly proportional to the intensity of memory; the degree of speed is directly proportional to the intensity of forgetting.”  I find truth in that. It can’t be helped that I would believe in some of his notions; given the fact that I really adore this writer (although I have only managed to read two of his novels yet, thanks to the constant reminder of his biggest fan in the house, Fatimah the mither whore.)

Going back to Kundera’s notion of speed, yes I find it quite true. With the adverse effect of modernity, people get so accustomed to speed that unconsciously they keep forgetting. And when one forgets of some simple facts it then that one admits oneself slowly into a comma that he/she him/herself doesn't know about. How else would you explain the monotonous cycle everybody is trapped in today? Of endless planning, due dates and deadlines? Of work, of nothing but work and no art of remembering what it is that drives us.

And in this tone I once again hold my tongue, afraid to end like a trout that can’t stop gagging about being bored. Yes that perpetual boredom that drives some of us mad. What of madness and how is it better than speed? Madness for one is a raw emotion waiting to explode in one’s brain, a scream that is hidden in one’s lungs. It has its own drug, and speed is one of them. In relation to that, madness is superior to speed in the sense that it controls speed. I get mad and I feel the urge to become impulsive, thus the series of activities may take in place: road trip to an unknown destination, jog/hike to an unknown territory and if madness thickens well then it is off to liquor and endless rock and rolling. So if lucky, one might overcome boredom and thus overcoming madness.

Madness uses speed, it constructs speed to its own advantage. Madness summons speed to pacify its intensity, madness deliberately provokes speed to attain the ultimate orgasm – of peacefulness and calm, of slowness.